AARP Foundation

Restroom Support

An illustration of a toilet from the side.
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When you have to go, what do you say? Maybe something like: “I need to use the toilet.” Or, “I have to go to the bathroom.” Or simply: “I need to use the restroom.”

How does your loved one say it? What’s normal for them? Whatever they say, that’s the phrase you should use when supporting them. Using the toilet is very personal business. When you help someone go to the bathroom, you may be seeing them in their most private and vulnerable moment, without some of their clothing. You might be touching them in a personal way. You might feel uncomfortable supporting them at first – seeing, hearing, and smelling things that are usually very private.

Whatever words or phrases you use, what’s included in helping someone is everything from getting to a toilet, using the toilet, getting cleaned up and leaving the bathroom. It can include all of this:

  • Knowing when to use the restroom
  • Getting to the bathroom
  • Getting to the toilet
  • Putting the seat up or down
  • Removing clothes (unzipping or unbuttoning pants, pulling pants down/up)
  • Sitting on the toilet or standing in front of the toilet
  • Urinating or having a bowel movement
  • Wiping
  • Flushing
  • Getting up
  • Placing clothes back on
  • Washing and drying hands
  • Exiting the bathroom

Bathroom Aids

Tools are available to help you support your loved one with the bathroom process. Some examples:

  • Raised toilet seat or riser to make it easier for person to sit on toilet
  • Padded toilet seat
  • Toilet seat splash guard
  • Toilet supports that makes it easier for a person to sit on a toilet without needing to be held up
  • Portable commode (for times when it is difficult for a person to get to the bathroom)
  • Transfer toilet seat
  • Shower chairs, seats, and stools
  • Grab bars
  • Transfer benches
  • Lifts (help lift a person onto or off a toilet)
  • Wiping aids (handles or wands)
  • Incontinence supplies, such as briefs or pads, can support a person in case they don’t get to the toilet in time.
  • Consider your loved one’s preference for a toileting schedule to help ensure success.
  • An accessible bathroom that allows for a wheelchair or walker
    • Doorway size to accommodate wheelchairs and walkers
    • Low or no step entrance
    • Space to move around
    • Toilet and sink that is accessible
  • Lighting that makes it easier for a person to see in the bathroom
  • For people who have difficulty finding or identifying the toilet seat, a different color toilet seat might help them see it

Note: Some toileting aids may be a covered benefit by your loved one’s insurance. Check with your loved one’s provider or insurance carrier for more information.

Safety Tips

Here are some ways to ensure the safety of the person needing restroom support:

  • Check to see if floor mats are a trip hazard.
  • Install grab bars for more stability.
  • Clear away clutter to reduce risks of stumbling or falling. This includes bathmats or rugs that may be a part of your loved one’s décor. Have a conversation with your loved one. Non-skid strips can be placed under a favorite rug.
  • Place supplies where they can be easily reached. This includes placing toilet paper or wipes in a place that does not require turning or bending down, which could cause a person to lose balance.
  • When helping a person on or off the toilet, avoid pulling them by their hands – this could injure you and/or the person.
  • Bend your knees when helping someone lower onto the seat or stand up.
  • Try to avoid bending from the waist because this can hurt your back.

Knowledge Check

Take this quiz to see how you fare in key concepts regarding restroom support.

1. Click on all the things that are a part of using the restroom.
2. Accidents may occur. Check all the ways you might help your loved one be successful and motivated with restroom support.
3. Even with using the restroom, each person is different. What basic questions could you ask about your loved one’s preferences for using the restroom? Check all that apply.
4. Ginny lives with dementia. She is able to use the restroom with assistance from her caregiver, Anita. Anita noticed that Ginny says she doesn’t need to use the restroom, or doesn’t tell Anita she needs to, and then has bowel accidents. Anita wonders if this is just a progression of dementia. She calls Ginny’s doctor, and her doctor asks if the accidents started when Ginny started taking her new medication. Anita realizes that Ginny did start having bowel accidents after this new medication. What can Anita can do to support Ginny?
5. Alphie’s son, Tom, finds that he needs to give his dad more restroom support. Alphie lives with dementia. Which of the following things shows Tom’s support for Alphie? Check all that apply.